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March 24, 2009

Mothers’ Day

Filed under: General Chit-Chat — Tags: , , , , , , — Ann-Maree @ 10:40 pm

By Heidi Soholt

 

 

It seems like everyone is talking about Jade Goody.

 

I must say that it is difficult not to be moved by the passing away of a young woman with two small children, even if you don’t personally know her. I know that there are thousands of similar tragedies happening every day, but not all are played out in the intense way that Jade’s has been. Her death was made all the more poignant by occurring on Mothers’ Day, a day I think brings a great deal of pain to a great many more people than we can possibly imagine. Yes, it is right that we celebrate our mothers, but the sadness of losing a mother or indeed a child must be particularly acute on such a day.

 

While having every sympathy for Jade and her family, I really can’t decide whether I agree with the way she manipulated the media. On one hand, she has undoubtedly put the spotlight on the dangers of cervical cancer and how important it is to be screened for it regularly. But on the other, I can’t help but feel that if I had recently been diagnosed, I would be all the more traumatised by Jade’s experience. Her’s was such a quick demise, but fortunately not all such cancers are terminal, and if caught early enough, cervical cancer can be completely stopped in its tracks. I know this for a fact as I had treatment for pre-cancerous cells myself, about 12 years ago. Luckily there has been no re-occurrence and also luckily, the NHS has kept a very close eye on me since. I did make sure that I had all the follow-up smear tests though, however uncomfortable, and cannot understand why someone would not do this. If Jade had only kept her appointments with the nurse, she could possibly have avoided such an untimely death.

 

A friend of mine, also a young mum, sadly passed away last April. The circumstances were very different, in that she had a previously undetected heart condition which was accelerated, tragically, by the birth of her second child. She left behind two little girls, one of whom will grow up without any memories of her mother. It makes you wonder why some people have to face so much in their lives. I’m not a particularly religious person – am of the school of thought that there’s probably ‘something’ out there but not really convinced about what ‘it’ is – but when I do start to question even my tenuous faith, I find the following verse from the Desiderata, a real comfort.

 

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars.   

You have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.     

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.   

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.   

Be careful.   

Strive to be happy.

 

www.labels4kids.com

March 17, 2009

Placing requests to other schools

Filed under: General Chit-Chat — Tags: , , , , , , — Ann-Maree @ 11:13 pm

On the BBC one news tonight was an interesting report about placing requests. I’ve always wondered just how many there are.  A number of friends have put in placing requests for the next school year already and are wondering whether they will get in for primary school. Other friends have not managed to get into the school they wanted for secondary or have gone private instead.

It seems that there are now 1 in 7 that put in placing requests for secondary education in Scotland, and 1 in 5 that have placing requests in for primary school!  In addition to that 32,000 parents place their children in private education and an additionally large group of parent take out massive mortgages to move into the right area for the right catchment school. That is 20% of all primary places being on placement request and 10% of all secondary places.  What a huge amount!

So what is all the angst about?  Is it really worth it?  Why do we need to do it? The parents interviewed on BBC had various responses from: we want them to mix with the right crowd, we dont think the school suits our child, everyone has to decide what they think if right for their child, to we just don’t like the area.  Placing requests were even made to move away from schools that had good inspectors reports to schools in other areas. The parents felt that this was because they thought their kids needed to mix with a better group of similar minded children.

I can relate to the private schooling option having considered this myself. I never thought we would need to . Having moved two now and being very happy with the move for one and less happy socially with the move for the second child, it is amazing the number of parents I speak to that are either considering the move to private education, or have already done it and for similar reasons.  Of course the second one misses his old friends during the day and HATES having homework but his work has improved out of sight. Even for a year or two that has got to be worth the effort of the move.  He still sees his old friends from our catchment as they all live near by and pop in after school.

There is a false belief out there (and I was one of those who had it previously) that those with kids in private education can afford to do so. Believe me, it’s absolutely wrong.  There are those fortunate enough to be in that situation but the majority are just looking for the same thing – smaller class sizes, more help to fix small things that are not being sorted in the government system, more discipline, and a little bit of homework on a regular basis that is relevant…like reading, writing and arithmetic. Back to the old 3 Rs of my days. Just a general well rounded routine preparation for secondary school and then classes that are going to sit and listen instead of throwing chairs or rolling around the floor.  Someone once said to me “you will know what a child is going to be like by the age of 10. If they are wild and misbehaving in class by then it is likely they’ll be wild and even in trouble with the law by the time they are older in some cases.  If they are relatively sensible and well behaved at 10 (despite the odd tantrum) then they will be sensible as adults”. The more I see, the older the kids get, the more I think how accurate that statement was.

I’m glad to have been able to move mine even for a year or two and perhaps later they will move back to high school and be able to walk there and back. The one thing I think is really important is that push at upper primary level in preparation for the years ahead. Sure there is no guarantee they will do any better in a school with well behaved kids or a better area of town than a rougher area. Sure there is no guarantee they will even get to university. But at least I can’t turn around years later and say they need that extra push and I never managed to give it to them.

What do you think?  Has it worked for your family and if you have already been there and done it, what would you change if you did it all again years later?

Ever wondered what your name labels will look like?

Filed under: News — Tags: , , , , , , — Ann-Maree @ 10:46 pm

Well now labels4kids can give you an idea of what your name labels look like!  Go to our new label designer down the left side of the home page under the title of Information.  The label designer gives you the chance to mess around with your vinyl labels, personalised bag tags or personalised gym bags and get an idea what it may look like if you proceed to order.  Obviously we use some artistic license on your labels to get them “just right” but you will get some idea of colours and layout with our new label designer.  Have fun with it!

Mummy matters

Filed under: General Chit-Chat — Tags: , , , , — Ann-Maree @ 10:10 pm

By Heidi Soholt

 

Have just decided to increase my one-year-olds’ hours at nursery, and have booked her in for an extra afternoon per week. That now takes the count up to three half days a week and am wondering whether this is too much.

 

Motherhood has definitely left me in a perpetual state of guiltiness – is that a word? (I should know, seeing as I’m supposed to be a journalist, but motherhood also robs you of the old grey matter).

 

The reason behind my toddler’s extra confinement is mainly that I’m to knackered to look after her properly as she’s going through that turbo-charged, house wrecking stage I seem to remember her brother experiencing too. She’s also too young to discipline properly – just looks at you with tears in her big eyes without a clue why you’re shouting at her, being, as yet, unable to link two events, such as e.g. her hurling her fish chowder all over the kitchen floor with me exploding like the wild woman of Borneo. She also doesn’t seem very sorry that our kitchen now smells like a fish factory.

 

There is another reason for my actions (okay, another excuse). Hubby works away for three days, sometimes four, per week. Oh yes, and there’s another one, I have a little project on the go at the moment which I’d love to devote more time to, I don’t want to say what it is just yet, but it might win me a bit of fame and fortune one day……..you never know!

 

And the final reason – I seem to spend most of my weekends ‘napping’ at every opportunity and hubby is fed up with it. Also, the kids are getting a bit confused being handed over to dad on a Friday morning, then hardly seeing mum until Monday. I seriously think my son is wondering whether we’ve divorced.

 

So, bearing in mind all these cast iron reasons, why oh why do I feel soooo bad? Hubby just can’t understand this at all, stating that he’d put her in for the whole week if it were up to him. But she’s just so little, and trusting, it really makes you feel like an ogre. She does love her nursery, and has come on in leaps and bounds while going there, but still, still, there’s this niggling doubt that I’m failing at my job. I think I will have to play the whole thing by ear.

 

Having read quite a few parenting books over the year, I’ve also been literally brainwashed by some of their theories. One in particular stuck in my mind. It basically said that putting under-threes into nursery scars them for life – particularly if the toddler is a boy. Apparently parents should at all costs avoid institutional type set-ups for their little soldiers, as boys aren’t as ready to socialise as girls, and therefore get little from them. This honestly put me off placing my son in nursery when he was his sister’s age, something which I regretted. Come time for playgroup and pre-school he was absolutely traumatised to begin with, having spent very little time away from my side. It really was an incredibly stressful transition – for the both of us – and one I hope to avoid with my daughter.

 

To put my mind at rest a little, I think that I’ll get on with some mummy chores like sewing on name tags or baking muffins. Perhaps that will alleviate some of the guilt. Failing that, chocolate will probably do.

 

Happy St Patrick’s Day! Enjoy a Guinness on me!

March 10, 2009

Pecking order

Filed under: General Chit-Chat — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Ann-Maree @ 9:21 pm

By Heidi Soholt

 

There are some interesting theories about how the order you are born into your family can affect your personality and success in life.

Off the top of my head I can think of some classic examples – but I shan’t name any names!

 

Generally, it is believed that the eldest sibling is born wanting to please, making them high achievers in whatever field they the choose. The eldest is also often responsible – having learned from a young age to help care for younger siblings. The middle child, so the theory goes, is often rebellious – being neither the eldest or youngest makes them feel they are not as special. But they are also good communicators, having needed to interact with younger and older siblings. The youngest is often fairly laid back, owing to the fact they are often mollycoddled and babied by the rest of the family. There isn’t as much expectation as there is for the oldest child, who, being the first to start school and so on, is much more in the spotlight. By the time number three comes along, parents have themselves probably chilled out a little, and learned to apply a bit of realism in their parenting skills.

 

If you have two children, then the eldest and youngest descriptions probably apply. If you have one, then the traits of the older sibling are probably more relative.

 

In my family, I was the oldest. My younger sister definitely had an easier ride in terms of teenage issues – boyfriends, parties, and so on. My parents were a lot more liberal when her turn came, having experienced a couple of years of battles with moi! My mother would probably tell you that my sister was far more rebellious, but here’s the thing. Although she was much more overtly rebellious than me – sneaking out of the house when she knew mum would eventually notice, hiding empties under her bed – I was probably naughtier, and a whole lot sneakier! While playing the part of the obliging, hardworking daughter on the outside, I was a complete tearaway. I was brilliant at covering my tracks though, and to this day, I don’t think my parents really have a clue what went on. So perhaps that’s it, while the older has to ‘keep up appearances’ with parents, they are just as rebellious on the inside. Perhaps this makes them ideal politicians!

 

I definitely felt that a lot was expected of me. My dad had these really fantastical ideas about me joining the diplomatic service or becoming a famous artist. While I never lived up to these plans, he did leave me with a sense of ambition, and also a feeling that I could achieve things in life. No bad thing I guess. My sister, on the other hand, felt she was left to get on with it, and offered no direction in life. Ironically, she was naturally the brightest of the two of us, being a whiz at maths and all those types of things.

 

I am conscious that I put more pressure on my son than my daughter. He has always had the pioneering role in the family – hubby and I not having experienced any form of childrearing before him. I made loads of mistakes with him when he was younger, which I have learned from. His sister is therefore growing up in a much more harmonious atmosphere – I’m not quite so frazzled this time around. Even her newly commenced toddler tantrums don’t have quite the power of her brother’s – I’m much more inclined to just shake my head and see the funny side of her flinging her little one-year-old body around the floor in full blaze.

 

All these things must surely have an impact on my wee-ones’ personalities and I can’t help but feel that the eldest gets the raw end of the deal. Having said that though, I can already see the little green monster emerging from my daughter whenever her brother gets to do something she’s not allowed. And there’s more of that to come, for sure!

 

In an attempt to even things out a little, I plan to buy my daughter her very own set of labels4kids vinyl labels for nursery with her own choice of image – just so she can feel a bit more like her big bro.

 

Comments by Ann-Maree Morrison

 

Wow how accurate is that!  I too am the oldest of 3. My younger sisters I feel had it easier too but I can’t help but feel that the oldest, middle and youngest analysis is soooo true now for my 3 boys.

 

The older one always gets what I promised myself I would never say to him “you are the oldest and should know better!” The middle one is more rebellious and moody and says he never gets attention and the youngest one is treated like the baby and gets molly coddled because I know I won’t (at least I hope I won’t) have any more kids. 

 

The way they are treated definately shows in their school work too.  The older ones loves school and tries fairly hard to please us (unless distracted).  The second one is brighter more laid back and wants to finish school as soon as humanly possible, especially dropping English first chance and then languages second. The last one would rather spend every day at home and has a very very laid back attitude on when he arrives at school in the morning and in what state! Drives me mad!  He is very accurate at picking up “vibes” and what body language girls use when they like you….oh dear… He is going to be the one to watch! Only 6 and knows how the girls drop their hips and flutter their eyelids when they like you!  Whatever next?

 

March 3, 2009

The demon drink

Filed under: General Chit-Chat — Tags: , , , , , — Ann-Maree @ 11:27 pm

By Heidi Soholt

  

Read in the paper today that Scotland is planning to increase the price of alcohol in a bid to deter us from enjoying too much of the amber nectar. Can’t say that I disagree with upping the price, but at the same time, it won’t do much to deter the better off from over-indulging.

 

A guy rang in to a radio show today on the subject. He said he was an alcoholic who got through about three big bottles of cider per day. He also said that putting prices up won’t stop him from drinking, simply because he’s addicted to the stuff and will get it come what may. What he said seemed so similar to what happens with drug addicts – the ones who can’t afford the smack, coke etc. turn to crime in order to get it. So is the Scottish government shooting itself in the foot with all of these plans? Or should they be applauded for at least doing something proactive to tackle the problem? I guess that if they can stop youngsters from getting their hands on the stuff then it’s worth it, but I’m really not sure really.

 

One thing I am sure about though, is that I am lucky to have survived an all day drinking spree on Saturday. I know, I know, it’s shameful for a woman in my position (two young children, etc.) and that I should know better. Of course motherhood should mean a life of sackcloth and ashes (if you’re lucky!). But, believe it or not, we sometimes over-indulge too!

 

The occasion though, was rather special. Hubby and I were invited to a v high profile sporting event where we rubbed shoulders with some of the country’s highest flyers and top sportsmen. As I really don’t get out all that much these days, I was  nervous as a kitten, making my way straight to the free bar the minute we entered the venue. There was no way I was mingling stone cold sober! Three or four glasses later I was really on a roll, chatting away to anyone who’d listen. By the end of the night my jaw ached and things got very hazy, I do, however, remember stumbling into a dinner table at one point, and being hoisted back on my feet by some complete stranger. Hey ho, you live and learn (just takes a bit longer for some!).

 

Having written off Sunday because of a monumental hangover, I am now trying to make up for it by being a very good mummy. Think I’ll get out those new press and click name tags from labels4kids tonight and do all the school socks and coats…something useful for a change!

March 2, 2009

To complain or not to complain?

Filed under: General Chit-Chat — Tags: , , , , , — Ann-Maree @ 9:56 pm

Why is it that some cultures find complaining more acceptable than others? There is the old British stiff upper lip thing – no matter what, don’t complain. You have a rotten meal and then are asked how it was.  What do we say “oh, lovely thanks” or “fine thanks” so as not to offend…but it wasn’t was it!  So why do that?  Why not tell it as it is !  The Americans do it, in fact they will go on about it at length. The French do it…and now, so do I!

I think there is definately something about getting fussier as you get older. I definately am fussier and more easily annoyed.  I’m more impatient. I don’t suffer fools gladly and I know a lot of friends the same. And it’s the little things but pre-kids I wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at.   Maybe it’ s the rushing about with too tight a schedule. Maybe it’s just utter frustration at how “it’s not like it used to be in the olden days”.  Maybe it is that always being on tap, the mobile forever at hand with no escape…

I’m in a shop and the shop assistant continues to have a social conversation rather than serve me.  Do I wait patiently?  Not on your life! I will ask to be served!  The other day I ordered coffees and the rest and asked if she took cards, being short on cash, and she said “no” but then in front of our faces the lady next to me and I saw it at the same time and we both said together, just like in a play “oh, yes you do, you take visa, maestro, amex,…” and burst out laughing. The poor girl looked completely shocked but it was quite amusing. Fancy serving all day and not even knowing it says on your register that you take every card going!  Poor sales technique or what.

The local newspaper had me wound up the other day with the Council of this tourist capital shutting down the old town jail, the open top tourist bus and several other things. So me, I wrote to the local paper’s editor and got prime position in the letters to the editor column.  My sons and husband were mortified but then I thought, no, I’m right. Friends were all phoning to congratulate me for writing everything they wanted to say but didn’t have the nerve to write in about. It has to be said! 

We have the same view at labels4kids. We prefer people to say something but do it in a nice way. If there is one thing I have learned from my own experiences selling name labels if someone phones with a complaint and has  a nice chat but airs their views then we’ll bend over backwards to help them. If someone rings like we had a lot the year of the postal strikes and gives you a hard time about being a lier and not posting things when you said you would do it, or hurls a torade of verbal abuse down the phone at you then of course it gets your back up straight away. Straight away you think “well hang on a minute. Why should I help this person?  Why do I deserve my day ruined because this person is having a rubbish day?  What have I done by sending her labels out ahead of time but now Royal Mail have lost them it’s all my fault?”  Immediately you think fine, we’ll help,  but will we go out of our way and walk over hill and dale to get that delivery redone pronto and maximum speed?  Absolutely no way!   It’s just human nature really.

Here at labels4kids just like anywhere the retailer needs to know that there is a problem. They need to know so they can try to rectify it. We like to think we are ahead of the competition because we pride ourselves on our customer service and we get tonnes of lovely testimonials from people happy with our name labels and our service.  We get the odd unhappy one but on the whole they are converted once we have helped them out and they are also sometimes some of our best long term customers!

I think everyone should complain if they are not happy with something.  The trick is to do it with style!  Do it nicely and don’t lose your cool. You’ll get so much more back in return. And then you feel that not only have you got what you want, even if it’s just getting your message across, but you have also helped someone sort out a potentially larger problem for them.

So forget that British reserve –  get out there and be heard!